


isn't it messed up how i'm just dying to be him?

by peroxideprncss



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Coming Out, Friendship, Gen, Lesbian Toph Beifong, Toph Beifong and Zuko are Siblings, Zuko is an Awkward Turtleduck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-06-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:34:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peroxideprncss/pseuds/peroxideprncss
Summary: “I’m not jealous of Suki because I like Sokka,” Toph muttered a little louder, but Zuko still had to strain to hear. His expression grew confused, and when he didn’t speak, Toph heaved a heavy sigh before continuing:“I’m jealous ofSokkabecause I likeSuki.”“Oh,” was all Zuko managed to say after a moment of heavy silence.“Yeah,” Toph replied with a bitter edge, “Oh.”
Relationships: Aang/Katara (Avatar) - background, Sokka/Suki (Avatar) - background, Toph Beifong & Zuko, past Mai/Zuko (Avatar) - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 289





	isn't it messed up how i'm just dying to be him?

**Author's Note:**

> last week, i tweeted: "thinking about the Gaang and how statistically at least ONE of them must be gay. my money’s on toph tbh."  
> then i wrote this fic. it takes place 3 years after the series finale, and loosely references events from the comics. please enjoy!

It was rare these days for the Gaang to get back together for the sole purpose of hanging out. So often, it involved endless meetings or diplomacy, and it was more likely that one or more of them would be absent when there was a spare moment for the friends to catch up. But today, the full group found themselves in the Jasmine Dragon with their completely un-scheduled afternoon ahead of them. Aang, Zuko, and Sokka had come to Ba Sing Se for a meeting with the Earth King, and Katara and Suki had convinced them to take an extra day to pay Iroh a visit. Upon hearing her friends would all be in town, Toph made sure she was able to join them as well.

The group chatted and laughed casually over Iroh’s newest experimental teas, the shop closed to the public for the day. The retired general smiled fondly on the friends who, in just three short years since the war had ended, had grown up and became wise far beyond their years. In other ways, however, they remained exactly the same. The man laughed quietly to himself as he half-listened to the Water Tribe siblings bickering. 

“Sokka, that’s not at all how that happened,” Katara rolled her eyes, frustrated with her brother, who doubled down on his insistence that he was right. 

“How would you know?” Sokka shot back indignantly, “You weren’t even born yet!”

“And you were barely old enough to walk!”

Their argument was soon doused by affectionate laughter from Aang, who had been thinking the same thing as Iroh. 

“I hope you guys never change,” the young avatar chuckled. He had sprouted a foot taller and his voice had deepened, but he still maintained his carefree demeanor. He squeezed Katara’s shoulders lightly with the arm he had wrapped around them, and she planted an affectionate kiss on his cheek. 

“Oogies,” Sokka muttered, despite him failing to repress a smile. 

“Glad to see you two are still going strong,” Iroh finally joined the conversation as he poured a fresh cup of tea for everyone. 

“Uncle, please sit,” Zuko insisted, moving to take the pot from Iroh’s hands, “You don’t have to serve us.”

“But I want to,” Iroh replied, continuing with his task. He reverted back to his original subject:

“It’s so nice to see young love. Don’t you agree, nephew?” Zuko grumbled something inaudible in response, and no one was quite sure if he was upset about his Uncle’s question, or the older man’s refusal to rest. 

“Not still bitter about gloomy girl, are you?” Sokka teased, to which Suki replied with a forceful elbow to his ribs. 

“Ow! What?”

“Not bitter,” Zuko responded sourly. At first, it sounded like he was going to continue, but he simply rose his cup of tea to his lips and took a prolonged sip. 

“Aw, lay off Sparky,” Toph spoke up, coming to her friend’s defense, “Not everyone gets a perfect fairytale story like Twinkletoes and Sugar Queen here.” She jabbed her thumb in the direction of Aang and Katara while sipping her own tea.

“What about me and Suki?” Sokka asked defensively, “Are we not a fairytale story? Two mighty warriors from different nations, finding love against all odds.” Suki giggled in response, rolling her eyes playfully. Where Toph would’ve normally spat back with a witty dig at Sokka, she instead remained uncharacteristically quiet. No one seemed to notice, as Sokka had continued to launch into his epic description of his and Suki’s love story, but Zuko made a mental note to check in with Toph later. 

Despite their differences, Zuko and Toph had grown quite close over time. They could always trust each other to be straightforward and honest, but not cruel, when it came to problems and seeking advice. There was a time and place for Iroh and Aang’s spiritual proverbs, Katara and Suki’s motherly care, and Sokka’s lighthearted humor, but sometimes one just needs a friend who will give it to them straight, no bull. Toph was known for her bluntness, and Zuko was good for helping people see situations more simply and matter-of-factly, especially if they had over complicated it in their minds. In fact, when it came to his most recent break-up with Mai, Zuko had counseled Toph first and most frequently out of their friends. Sympathy and cheering-up was all well and good, but Zuko knew he’d messed up, and that Toph would have no qualms in telling him so. She had helped him a lot when it came to healing that wound, and he could tell today that something was up with her from the way she was acting. So, in a quiet moment, he guided her out onto the balcony for a private chat. 

“Toph,” Zuko started cautiously, “What’s going on with you today? You’re not making fun of Sokka nearly as much as usual.”

“Frankly, he’s just not giving me much to work with,” Toph lied in response. They both knew that was untrue, but it was a signal that she didn’t really want to talk about it. Zuko took a breath, deciding against his better judgement to prod a bit further. 

“All the couples and love talk makes me uncomfortable, too,” he stated, waiting for her reaction.

“Uncomfortable?” Toph offered, “Or jealous?”

“ _ I _ never said anything about jealousy,” Zuko pointed out, “But it sounds like you might have that on your mind.”

“Ugh,” the earthbender groaned, cursing herself for slipping up so easily. People couldn’t hide things from her, but she was usually much better at hiding things from others. Zuko could tell he’d hit his target, so he paused for a moment to see if Toph would speak on her own. 

“Who wouldn’t get jealous?” she offered sourly, “Being constantly surrounded by all that ooey-gooey-lovey-dovey crap?” Zuko nodded in understanding - as happy as he was for his friends, he always felt a pang in his heart when he saw Aang pull Katara closer, or Suki kiss Sokka on his cheek casually. It reminded him that he was alone - romantically, anyway. 

“You have a point,” Zuko conceded, “But you’ve been unusually...nice...to Sokka today.” Toph stood firm with her arms crossed, and the wheels began to turn in Zuko’s head. 

“Ohh,” he said teasingly, “I know what’s going on here.”

“There’s nothing to know,” Toph argued, “Because there’s nothing going on.”

“Is that so?” Zuko answered, “Because it seems to  _ me _ like you’ve got a soft spot for our boomerang-wielding friend.”

“Sparky,” Toph warned, her cheeks flushing pink. Zuko smirked at the sight, proud of himself for uncovering this secret.

“Is that why you’re jealous?” Zuko continued.

“I’m not jealous,” Toph grumbled.

“That’s not what you said before,” he rebutted. Toph let out a disgruntled sigh in response.

“Are you jealous of Suki?” Zuko asked, “Because you like Sokka?” Toph muttered something in response, her cheeks now deepening to red. 

“What was that?” Zuko teased, trying to get her to spill. 

“I’m not jealous of Suki because I like Sokka,” Toph muttered a little louder, but Zuko still had to strain to hear. His expression grew confused, and when he didn’t speak, Toph heaved a heavy sigh before continuing:

“I’m jealous of  _ Sokka  _ because I like  _ Suki _ .”

“Oh,” was all Zuko managed to say after a moment of heavy silence. 

“Yeah,” Toph replied with a bitter edge, “ _ Oh _ .”

“Toph,” Zuko spoke after another beat, “I’m sorry -”

“Save it, Zuko,” Toph cut him off, and he was taken aback by her using his actual name for once, “I was gonna have to tell somebody at some point. I guess I’m just glad it’s happening one-on-one rather than in front of everyone.” Zuko took a shaky breath, and Toph dropped her arms when she noticed. 

“I’m not mad at you,” she reassured him, planting a firm hand on his shoulder. Zuko nodded. 

“But...you are mad?” Zuko asked tentatively. Toph nodded softly, her head bowed. 

“At myself, I guess,” she said with an uncharacteristic vulnerability, “Like, I  _ know _ it’s stupid to like her. She’s with Sokka, and they’re happy. And even if they weren’t together, I doubt she’d feel the same way about me. It makes no sense, and I  _ know _ that. But, I still feel this way. It’s just so... _ stupid _ of me.”

“Toph,” Zuko comforted, his hand on her shoulder now, “We can’t control how we feel, or who we feel for. Even if we know it’s not logical, or we won’t have a shot…” He trailed off, and Toph knew he was thinking of Mai. She wondered briefly if he’d ever really get over her. 

“Don’t beat yourself up over a harmless crush,” he spoke again, softly squeezing her shoulder. Toph managed the tiniest of smiles.

“And, I won’t say anything about this to anyone,” Zuko stated. 

“Thanks,” Toph replied, her smile now tinting her voice, “I appreciate it.” After a pleasant moment, Zuko spoke again.

“So,” he started, “Is it only Suki, or…?”

“If you’re asking if I like girls in general,” Toph interrupted with a smirk, “The answer’s yes.”

“Cool, cool,” Zuko nodded, unsure what to say in response. He was startled by the earthbender planting an affectionate punch on his arm.

“Thanks, Zuko,” Toph said again, “It feels good to say it out loud. To someone else.”

“Thanks for telling me,” Zuko responded with a smile, “It means a lot that you trust me enough to tell me.” Toph hesitated, then collided her body into Zuko’s for an extremely brief, but equally as loving, hug. Before he could even move his arms to return the gesture, she was already standing back in her original position.

“Don’t say anything about that, either,” Toph said, turning on her heel and returning to the table where the rest of their friends sat, blissfully unaware of what had transpired. She couldn’t help but smile, though, from feeling a little bit lighter and freer after her talk with Zuko. 

**Author's Note:**

> title from "sugar, we're going down" by fall out boy  
> toph & zuko's conversation that's referenced in the summary is heavily inspired by robin coming out to steve in stranger things 3


End file.
